Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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