How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
