just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My penis needs a shock collar
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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