It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
