OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
