Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
