yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
