the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
