i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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