thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
