Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
