Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
