that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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