Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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