I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
organizing the empties. That sober.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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