Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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