We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
