Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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