i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
