just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
