i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
So squirting runs in the family.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
