he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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