it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
