That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
