I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
