I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
