A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize
