I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
