i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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