Christians are straight up FREAKS
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
