I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
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