she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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