guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
and you fell through a lawn chair
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
