THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
