i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
