He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
