We won't sleep together?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
