There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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