I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
worst night to have a conscience
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Randomize
