You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
