C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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