I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
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