Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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