my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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