So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
