Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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