its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
