She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
