He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
