Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
