I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
